Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
