so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
