I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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