Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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