dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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