4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
