idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
