shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
