Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
