Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
