I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
