Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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