? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
