I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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