question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm at about main and main street
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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