We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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