I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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