Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
They are going to name an STD after you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
