Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
