R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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