that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
What drink are we having for lunch?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
