those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
