Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
where are my pants?
in the oven.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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