I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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