During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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