I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
