Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize