I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize