I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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