the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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