I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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