I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
