We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize