I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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