every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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