Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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