bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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