4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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