the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dick very happy bro
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
