When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
