Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
