i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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