I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
