i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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