It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
