i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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