Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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