Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
