She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
