I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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