Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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