She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
