There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
