Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
