I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
