Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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