my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize