I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
