I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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